Tag Archives: FROTCAST

[Teaser] Spa or Non-Spa (Frotcast 642: Happy Gilmore 2 with David Roth and Jeb Lund)

comedy, movies, , , , ,

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Happy Gilmore 2 famously lives at the intersection of sports and movies, and incredibly, so do this week’s guests, David J. Roth and Jeb Lund from It’s Christmastown. They review Hallmark movies on their podcast, but this week they’re taking a break from that to fill in for Matt and Brendan, who are on vacation with their dumb families, to discuss Adam Sandler’s 30-years-later sequel, Happy Gilmore 2–a movie which, as I wrote in my review, feels exactly like a make-a-wish charity special for a terminally-ill 58-year-old. Or as David puts it, feels like a celebrity-packed Super Bowl commercial that just never ends. Those sound like knocks on it, but they kind of aren’t. One of the best things about Happy Gilmore 2 is trying to imagine the strange celebrity encounter Adam Sandler had that produced each cameo.

That takes up most of the latter part of the pod, but before that, we discuss the way tech CEOs have ruined the design of most things, which naturally brings us to Elon Musk’s new Tesla diner, where you can wait two hours in line to order “Epic Bacon” for $12, all while being glared at by the people who live nearby whose lives Elon has ruined. Then we digress into the Trump/Epstein scandal, and how, even if this probably won’t result on Trump’s supporters turning on him, it is weirdly gratifying to watch him be constantly on the defensive and clearly realize that he can’t just riff his way out of this one. Fun times!

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com, leave us a voice message at 415-275-0030.

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Frotcast 639: POOP CRUISE, with Jessica Sele

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SHUT UP SHUT UP (via Netflix)

This week we welcome comedienne Jessica Sele to the show to discuss bidet usage. But first, we kick things off talking about steamy hot cat sex. We bring up dogs briefly as well, but let’s face it, we know what our audience wants to hear about.

Speaking of which, we all watched Trainwreck: Poop Cruise which kinda felt like it was made for us but unfortunately (predictably, tbh) was a paint-by-numbers streaming doc. Props for minimizing usage of “typing things into a google search bar” shots, though. There’s a number of great stories to be told about it, but they focus on a small number of people and gloss over some major parts, such as, why anyone thought it was a good idea to make drinks free. There is a book’s worth of sociological insights to be gleaned from the poop cruise earning its name because everyone interviewed talks about refusing to poop in a bag, which of course exacerbates the issue and degrades the quality of life for everyone on board, but you aren’t going to hear about it on this podcast. I mean, come on.

Lastly, we dive into the New York Times’ hit piece on Zohran’s college application, which was only uncovered due to a hack of applicant data at Columbia, and provided to them by a “race science academic”. We asked Dave Weigel how exactly the ratfucking of Zohran would occur, but none of us had this on the bingo card. At least we still have Wordle.

You can find Jessica on Instagram and Twitter. Buy her album.

-Description by Brendan.

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Frotcast 631: Sinners, Popes, and Poopers

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White smoke is billowing from the Frotquarter chimney this week (which is encased in a giant rubber butt) to indicate that a new Pope has been crowned. He’s crowning! Yes, it’s an American Pope, from Chicago. But luckily for you, all of the deep dish, Malort, and Superfans jokes were mostly exhausted by the time we started recording. Instead we discuss the phenomenon of all these mid-life Catholic converts in the conservative movement now bitching about the “woke” Pope. Shut up and take it, losers! You’re the ones who willingly submitted to Papal rule!

In addition to that, we’re discussing the latest “ins and outs” of the infamous “Delco Pooper.” Did you know she’s also an OnlyFans feet model? Good for her. Of the car-pooping incident, she famously claimed “it was a clean poop. I didn’t even need to wipe.”

Ma’am. We’ve seen clean poops. We aspire to clean poops. Our phones are filled with pictures of beautiful clean poops. That was not a clean poop and you need to re-wipe yourself right now.

Finally, we round things off with the topic to which we devote the majority of the show, Sinners, Ryan Coogler’s rightfully successful original epic about juke joints, twin gangsters, Delta Blues, Jim Crow, vampires, and cunnilingus. It was fantastic and there should be more movies like it.

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[Teaser] The Clown Union of Reaganators, ft Zack Chapaloni

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Zack Chapaloni takes time out from his busy improv schedule to join us for a robust “yes-and” of Mark Wahlberg and Halle Berry’s new madcap shooting spree comedy The Union. That’s not really a joke; in between witty bon mots, Halle Hal and Marky Mark rack up a body count on par with Legionnaire’s Disease. Brendan forgets JK Simmons’ name and decides to refer to him thenceforth as JK Rowling. Matt watched about half the movie and we come to the conclusion that he really didn’t miss that much. This is an AI-ass movie, y’all. We also discuss the baffling end credits sequence and whether or not this is simply the logical result of stan culture vs. “wanting to see a good movie” (spoiler: it is).

Vince wanted to save his takes on ‘Reagan,’ the new biopic about our most AI-ass president, until the rest of us could see it, but he had to take his shirt off and go in anyway. We challenge some fundamental assumptions of the movie such as: since when does he get credit for ending the Cold War, and why should any American particularly give a shit? Plus! A helpful guide to recognizing Gorbachev in the movie if you don’t have a helpful geriatric to loudly whisper THAT’S GORBACHEV in your theater.

If you like what you heard from our esteemed guest, find Zack on his website here. Even if you didn’t you probably should, we are all desperate.

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[Teaser] The Olympics of Fast Food, w James Fritz (Frotcast 599)

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James Fritz joins us in the virtual stu’ (it was supposed to be a real stu’ but Matt got a widdle sniffle). Listen as we drop bar after bar of the tightest flows ever etched on wax! YOU CRAZY FOR THIS ONE RICK!!

We uphold Frotcast tradition by going completely off the rails before we even get started. James asks Matt if he’s “a jingle man” and sends Brendan on a 20-minute reverie involving Jack Nicholson menacingly asking a guy named Matt tied to a chair if he’s “a jingle man”.

Come along with us as we discuss the ancient ideals still held forth by the purity of the Olympic Games and the eternal glory plus unlimited colonoscopies conferred upon its champions. When in Rome, indeed.

Listen as we take in the Veep-iness of Linda Yaccarino’s video in which she outlines the lawsuit Twitter is bringing against advertisers who don’t want to spend money with them. There’s also some good Louis CK “your father is dead” vibes with the hand gestures. She’s going to make a great politician. I personally cannot wait for Twitter to win this lawsuit so every company in America will be forced to spend money there, a thing that will DEFINITELY happen.

Brendan leaves soon after that because his son won’t nap and Matt gets big mad about Zionism. Idk, I think reggae is pretty cool but whatevs.

See nudes of James Fritz at his website: https://www.jamesfritzcomic.com/

Frot on!

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Frotcast 594: Bloodsuckers! Dracula (1992), with Alex Goldman

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This week, we were honored to welcome guest Alex Goldman, formerly of ReplyAll, currently of the Western Kabuki podcast and the Cool Dude Zone Substack. We discuss the reason our kids are annoying, bad vibes in the podcast industry, questions Alex would like to ask Elon Musk, and of course, 1992’s Dracula. Because why wouldn’t we discuss 1992’s Dracula? That was actually Brendan’s idea, only the bastard wasn’t here to see it through because he ended up having to parent. UGH! We discuss Monica Belucci as a sex vampire, Gary Oldman as the original steampunk f*ckboy, Keanu Reeves’ accent, and Winona.

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[Teaser] Why do Americans love bumper stickers?

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David Farrier is the acclaimed documentarian behind Tickled and Mr. Organ (as well as Dark Tourist on Netflix) who also runs a newsletter called Webworm. More importantly, he has a nice Kiwi (New Zealand) accent and we’ve already established that the best qualification one can have to discuss a Martin Lawrence movie on the Frotcast is having an accent. David is here to discuss 1999’s Life, an initial flop-turned cult favorite whose director went on to die in a cocaine related celebrity basketball heart attack (before that he directed other movies I liked, like Beautiful Girls and Blow). It’s a very strange movie, sort of a Jim Crow drama turned into a comedy, but we all liked it more than we expected and it certainly wasn’t the movie we imagined. We also talked about Calvin bumper stickers and Jerry Seinfeld’s latest baffling paean to old school values.

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[Teaser] The Invention of Hacky Sack

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Everyone knows it’s ‘Martin May’ on the Frotcast, so this week we’re talking ‘Blue Streak’ (1999) with Alice Fraser from The Gargle. At least, we start talking about Blue Streak around the one hour mark. Before that, Matt’s child pooped in the bath, inspiring some other stories of inopportune poops, Rudy Giuliani pulls a Naked Gun by leaving his court microphone on while peeing, Ben Affleck and J. Lo are consciously uncoupling again, and former offensive lineman Brendan has finally actually seen ‘The Blind Side,’ which he dubs ‘Birth of a Lineman.’ Because it’s a racist-ass movie, you see.

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[Teaser] Jerry Seinfeld Breaks His Legendary Silence On That Weird Sex Thing From His Past

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Jerry Seinfeld apologizes for Bee Movie! A Bitcoin guy gives a commencement speech! Bill Burr DESTROYS Bill Maher in a Battle of the Bills! All these topics and more on this week’s Frotcast, with our guest, comedian Matt Braunger. He’s been on Rogan, which I think means we all get 10 extra dollars by association (is that how that works? We’re not good at business). Meanwhile, Martin Madness, aka Martin March, aka Martin May, continues with our discussion of the 2000 classic, Big Momma’s House. Fun fact: this movie stars THREE Oscar nominees. Not to mention Cedric “The Entertainer.”

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TEASER: Frotcast 587 – ‘Unfrosted’, with Uwe Bollocks feat. The Rock’s Pee Bottle

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This week the Frotcast welcomes Eric Peacock, aka Uwe Bollocks, host of the Soundtracker podcast, to discuss Jerry Seinfeld’s directorial debut, Unfrosted, a movie about the invention of the Pop Tart. And what a movie it is! We also get caught up on Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s alleged history of being late to every set and hiring his dopey brother-in-law/former assistant to run his production company. A company that’s currently $250 million in the hole in his latest terrible-sounding movie (which was the brother-in-law’s idea, by the way). ALLEGEDLY. Also, Brendan went to an ostrich farm so we talk about which large flightless birds we think we could beat up. You know, if it came to it.

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