Frotcast 425: Tyler Perry Presents Herpes Are Forever, With Two Girls One Mic

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This week on the Frotcast, we welcome Yvette d’Entremont and Alice Vaughn, from the Two Girls One Mic porncast, who discovered Matt Lieb through his status as one of the internet’s foremost quicksand p*rn enthusiasts. That’s the power of the Frotcast. Yvette and Alice are about to head off to their first AVN Awards, so we try to play AVN Awards Bingo. Now that Knives Out has been out for a while and Matt has finally seen it, we discuss the feasibility of its drug subplot with Matt, in his capacity as a former IV drug user (10 years sober, hooray for Matt!). At which point we discover that Yvette wrote her thesis on the opiate epidemic. That’s almost TOO MUCH EXPERTISE for one show. This leads into our talk about how Matt lost his verified checkmark on Twitter during the New York Times presidential endorsement kerfuffle. As one replier commented, “for Matt so loved posting that he sacrificed his only begotten checkmark.”

Finally, I regale Matt and the gang with my recap of Tyler Perry’s new Netflix movie, A Fall From Grace, which I urge everyone to watch with their friends, a truly surreal experience. We finish things off with your email questions and voicemails. Become a patron at Patreon.com/Frotcast to access all of our bonus content!

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Frotcast 424: A Very Important And Respected Oscars Podcast Part 1

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Hey Frotcast friends!

It’s that time of year again where the powerful forces that control the entertainment industry all meet together in secret and use their dark power to force Matt and Vince to do a Frotcast that talks mostly about movies. That’s right, it’s OSCAR SEASON!!! The glitz, the glamour, the gallantry. The Academy Awards are the second most important event of the year next to the Grammys. And Matt and Vince have all your Oscar noms ready to dish for all you hunger-pang ridden piggies to lap up. We talk about Best Picture! We talk about Best Actress! We talk about the fact that for the second year in a row the Academy has decided it would be safer to just not have a host because it’s impossible to find a comedian who does not have a problematic past and they don’t want to risk the Oscars being #Cancelled. Matt and Vince are certain that is the reason, and it has nothing to with the fact that a comedian host might want to talk about Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, and probably Jeffrey Epstein and they were like “what do you think this is, the fucking Golden Globes?! We are far too important to be roasted.” 

Anyway it’s a very good episode about how important the Oscars are and how many wonderful movies were nominated. We just love the movies. Truly a magical experience to consume movies. Yum.

For real though, Parasite is the best. For part two, become a donor at Patreon.com/Frotcast!

You can add the bonus feed to regular podcast app! You’ll never be lonely when you have the Frotcast.

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Frotcast 423: Ghost Kitchens, Ghost Oscar Hosts, With Tom Dean And Jessica Sele

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Who’s a better awards show host, Ricky Gervais or no one? Did Ricky Gervais’ Golden Globes monologue DESTROY HOLLYWEIRD LIBS or was he just takin’ the piss, mate?This week we transition from discussing this year’s host-free Oscars (ghost awards show hosts!) to the ex-Uber CEO Travis Kalanick’s big plans for “ghost kitchens,” where you can order algorithm-inspired food prepared by contract workers on an app funded by the Saudis. Yum, I love A/B testing! One of Kalanick’s Galaxy Brainchildren is apparently called “Bitch Don’t Grill My Cheese,” a name so idiotic it’s been stuck in my head all week. Now it’s your turn to be annoyed! You’re welcome!

Our guests this week include screenwriter Tom Dean and comedian Jessica Sele. We’re talking awards season, ghost kitchens, and the new plan to use artificial intelligence to decide which movies to greenlight. Yes, this is a real thing that’s happening. Is it just me or do we live in the stupidest possible future? Once we tire of that we reminisce about Batman Returns, the most gloriously weird superhero movie ever made. Was Tim Burton’s big idea for the Penguin that he just act like an actual penguin? Having flippers for hands and eating fish and shit? That was awesome.

Anyway, Frot on, and don’t forget to become a patron at Patreon.com/Frotcast. You’ll get access to all our bonus content, including bonus episodes, review shows, and live riffs. You can add the bonus feed to regular podcast app! Get on the right side of history.

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TEASER – Frotcast Bonus: Star Wars The Rise Of Skywalker

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This episode available to $5 patrons at Patreon.com/Frotcast!

As Robert Evans once wrote, “Fighting is healthy. If everyone has too much reverence for each other, or for the material, results are invariably underwhelming. It’s irreverence that makes things sizzle. It’s irreverence that gives you that shot at touching magic.”

That, in a nutshell, is what was wrong with Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker, in this podder’s opinion. A film needs to have a point of view, and this film’s point of view seemed to be “We really like Star Wars movies! Hooray, Leia! Hooray, Lando!”

That being said, Star Wars movies tend to range in quality from B+ to B-, so even when I say it was “bad” I mean that it was still more or less okay, and only marginally worse than the last couple of Star Wars movies. I do think it was the worst of any of the new ones. Matt liked it more than I did, but we both agree that it was better than the prequels, which is a low bar indeed.

Anyway, we discuss all of that, including whether the original trilogy is a story about how the Boomers “beat” the Empire, and whether the principals in the latest trilogy (millennials?) should be taking the Boomers’ advice on how to defeat the reformed Empire once again (with all due citation to Matt Louv‘s comedy bit that inspired this whole discussion). There are smaller matters too, like how the hell people are riding horses on top of ships in outer space, whether Lando was horny at the end there, and why all the black characters seem to know each other. Oh, and Matt debuts a few new characters, including “Bubba Fett,” intergalactic bounty hunter and former long-haul trucker. Please enjoy.

For all this #Content and more, become a patron at Patreon.com/Frotcast. You’ll never be lonely when you have the Frotcast.

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Frotcast 422: Matt Tries To Get Fired, The Exciting Conclusion, With Jessica Sele

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Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and sure, Happy Kwanzaa, I suppose. It’s the most wonderful time of the year and to make things just that much more wonderful, Matt and Vince have invited Jessica Sele to the Frotquarters for a very special episode of the Frotcast. It’s special because Matt finally got the Christmas present he had been hoping for… he got his ass fired right before Christmas with severance and – since he was fired without cause – unemployment. IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Also, he may have yelled at a couple of his bosses.

We also discuss things like Trump owning the libs for their need to conserve water, the true story behind Noah Baumbach’s Marriage Story, and Matt’s trip to Disneyland with Francesca (his girlfriend who he loves very much and who loves him back.) So don you now your gay apparel and fa la la la la la, la la la listen to this dope ass episode of the Filmdrunk Frotcast. Get bonus content at Patreon.com/Frotcast.

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TEASER: Marriage Story With Francesca Fiorentini

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This week’s Bonus Frotcast and all Bonus Frotcasts are available at Patreon.com/Frotcast. You can add our premium feed to your regular podcast app.

In this week’s bonus movie Frotcast, Francesca Fiorentini from The Bitchuation Room and The Young Turks joins us to discuss the year’s most talked about film, Marriage Story. Boy, people sure do love middlebrow dreck about sexless intellectuals, don’t they? Starring Adam Driver and Scarlet Johansson, Noah Baumbach’s latest is yet another work to remind me of John Dolan’s takedown of Jonathan Franzen:

Yes, it’s time someone said it outright: Manhattanites are the new  hicks. The mall kids are generations ahead of them. Things that are  stale jokes to the mall kids strike the NY publishing world as fresh and  hilarious. Maybe they just don’t watch enough TV, or they spend too  much time drinking cocktails with F. Scott Fitzgerald’s ghost — whatever  the reason, the Manhattanites have lost it completely. The  scriptwriters of Christmas Vacationare Flaubertian chroniclers  of provincial mores next to Franzen. When you compare Franzen with  really talented observers of Minnesota life, like the Coens in Fargo, or even Garrison Keillor inLake Wobegon Days, his incompetence stands out even more sharply.

And  if one were to compare him with the great novelist of “pelagic  America,” Charles Portis… no, it would be an insult to Portis even to  compare a hack like Franzen with him. And yet Portis is all but unknown,  while Franzen is everybody’s darling…. Agh, ya buncha idiots!

Now just re-read this passage so that it’s about Brooklynites, Marriage Story, and Mrs. Fletcher (which is kind of like Marriage Story only much better). Yes, unfortunately (or fortunately?), none of your Frot pals liked this movie so much — which is kind of weird, since Francesca is divorced, Matt and I are both dating divorceés, and all three of us work in the arts and/or entertainment, so we should be the target audience (Francesca and I even lived in Brooklyn!). As Matt puts it, their fights are like a montage of every relationship argument in a play you’ve ever seen. I contend that this movie is either about a couple where a person is too cowardly to admit that they don’t love the other person anymore, or a couple who still loves each other but whose relationship couldn’t survive them wanting slightly different careers. Oy. No more stories about sexless New York intellectuals, please.

We finish things off reading about the Topanga tea ceremony and listen to your weird voicemails. You guys are sick, truly. Frot on, and you’ll never be lonely when you have the Frotcast.

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Frotcast 421: Gender Fluid On My Billy Dee, With Anna Valenzuela And Zack Chapaloni

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We recorded this podcast on Tuesday night, so keep that in mind when you listen to Matt Lieb predict the news cycle of the “Billy Dee Williams is gender fluid” story — none of the stuff he predicts had happened yet! He even anticipated a Jung quote! It’s very impressive. Anyway, this was a fun old school podcast with all of us in the same room cracking wise and having fun, with guest comedian Zack Chapaloni and Anna Valenzuela from the Brujaja podcast. Other topics include, encountering “hoes” in the wild, Tomi Lahren’s brand of athleisure wear, Clint Eastwood’s directorial output, “fake news,” people trying to substitute liking fancy sneakers as a personality, and Matt trying to get fired again. Update: Matt has since been fired! Great job, Matt! No one gets fired like you do, buddy.

We finish things off with your emails and voicemails. Don’t forget to subscribe for our bonus content on patreon.com/frotcast, and love yourself. You’ll never be lonely when you have the Frotcast.

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Frotcast 420: A Very Sugar Ray Breakup, With Jason Webb And Chase McNeil

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That’s right, we’ve reached 420 Frotcasts! Almost as nice as when we hit 69. Sadly Matt has more than a decade sober and I could not convince him to get “hella baked, bro” in honor of this arbitrary milestone. What we do have for you is an action-packed episode featuring everyone’s favorite Southerner, Jason Webb, and fresh-faced Frotcast virgin Chase McNeil. That’s the Frotcast for you, full of farts and in your hearts.

This week we’re discussing how the gig economy has finally come to the world of (psuedo?) celebrity. Can you guess how much it costs to get Sugar Ray frontman Mark McGrath to break up with your boyfriend for you? It’s less than you think! We also talk about how you have to go see the Sonic the Hedgehog movie now to reward the studio for spending millions to appease the fans. Matt got to see the downsides of being a huge star like Michael Rapaport when he opened for Rap this weekend, and later he tells us how he hates his job and spends at least 10 minutes trying to get fired. We get a late start on Hunter Biden being the greatest failson of all time, and Donald Trump helps us win the war on Thanksgiving.

Every morning there’s a Frotcast hanging in the corner of my girlfriend’s four-points bed... Please subscribe to our Patreon for #BONUS #CONTENT including our live riff of Cobra at Patreon.com/Frotcast. You’ll never be lonely when you have the Frotcast.

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TEASER: Frotcast Live Riff Of Cobra, Starring Sylvester Stallone

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On this month’s Frotcast live riff episode, we’re riffing on Cobra, the 1986 Sylvester Stallone classic that apparently began as Beverly Hills Cop and ended up as Cannon Films exploitation movie in which Sly takes out a whole gang of axe-wielding rapists. The full episode is available to our $20 Patrons. Join us? You know you want to!

This week’s Bonus Frotcast and all Bonus Frotcasts are available at Patreon.com/Frotcast. You can add our premium feed to your regular podcast app.

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Frotcast 419: Trapped In A Lighthouse with Brendan

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Keepin’ secrets, are ye?? That’s right, this week on the Frotcast we’ve reunited with our old pal Brendan to discuss a film that’s firmly in the Frotcast wheelhouse. I’m talking about The Lighthouse, starring Willem Dafoe, who Brendan once imagined had a “gnarled penis” and has long been one of his favorite impressions, behind Michael Caine and Mark Ruffalo. Brendan also had a nautical childhood in which his father taught him the NATO alphabet and forced him to sail. When he texted me about The Lighthouse I had to look up what “scrimshaw” was. How is it in Matt’s wheelhouse? Well, it turns out it’s basically an entire movie about a guy who is mad because he’s so horny. Matt hates being horny! He also loves parroting movie lines of old-timey curmudgeons and in William Dafoe’s “wickie” he has found his new Daniel Plainview.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! Yes, this episode has lots of “spoilers.” Personally I think The Lighthouse is impossible to spoil and you’ll be fine if you haven’t seen it, but I don’t want anyone whining. It would’ve been weird not to discuss “plot points,” because The Lighthouse has like three of them and they don’t really matter. In any case, listen at yer own risk, ye dogs.

We wrap things up with your voicemails and some texts from Bret. Now, time to drink exactly one beer and call 911.

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