Monthly Archives: November 2015

271: Ronda Rousey’s Loss, Sibling Abuse, and Our Personal Spambots, with Kaseem Bentley

Did you do terrible things to a sibling or have one do terrible things done to you? Comedian Matt Lieb recounts the saga of his Machiavellian brother, who ridiculed his genitals, made him steal, and ruined his sketch comedy show. As an only child, I drink the pathos and schadenfreude of him and the many listeners who submitted their stories. Other topics include The Night Before (quickly diverted into a diatribe about Anthony Mackie), the Ronda Rousey fight, and our personal spam bots, which Bret has created using our Twitter archives. Spooky. Comedian Kaseem Bentley joins, back by popular demand, to go on lengthy diatribes against Terrence Howard and Hawaiian barbecue, among other things. Enjoy.

2:20 – We relive last weeks’s greatest hit, “Corporate Birthday.”
7:40 – I ask Matt and Kaseem about ‘The Night Before,’ which leads Kaseem into a long jag about Anthony Mackie being “the number one black douchebag.”
10:10 – I distract Kaseem with a question about Terrence Howard, which brings us to the story about Terrence Howard’s father killing a guy and Terrence Howard’s controversial theories about crystals and universal math.
17:05 – Kaseem outlines his theory that Terrence Howard is actually an alien who was sent through “a Negro Stargate.”
20:39 – We talk about the Rousey fight. No, Ronda Rousey did not get “exposed,” you dolts.
26:15 – Kaseem goes in hard on Hawaiian BBQ. I ask about the Nation Of Islam’s dietary restrictions.
30:52 – The Rousey fight reminded Matt of Million Dollar Baby.
39:00 – Introducing the topic of Sibling Abuse, starting with listener emails.
44:00 – Probably the most diabolical sibling torture email we received, about a brother almost drowning his younger brother, using him as bait for a pedophile, and covering him in dog poop.
48:22 – The lengthy saga of Matt Lieb’s Machiavellian brother begins.
1:03:00 – Personal Spam Bots: Following up on last week’s discussion of predictive text and Markov chains, Bret has used our Twitter archives to build us personal spam bots.
1:15:00 – Matt Lieb tells an epic story about sketch comedy and his evil brother, culminating in “Spedackle.”
1:22:55 – Matt’s story about the last time his brother punched him (while he was watching Taken), and once again diabolically neutralized his counter attack.
1:33:00 Finishing off with a few of your emails

270: Spectre, The Spy Who Loved Me, with Jane Harrison

It’s the James Bond episode! After seeing Spectre, I asked around to find out which were the “can’t miss” James Bond movies, and more than one person suggested The Spy Who Loved Me (1977), starring Roger Moore. We invited back fan favorite Jane Harrison, to try to see classic ’70s sexism through the eyes of an actual millennial female. That was the idea, anyway. The undisputed highlight of this week’s episode was the return of “Matt Lieb Adds Lyrics To Royalty-Free Music.”

1:45 – Matt and Jane have the same therapist, who apparently sees half the San Francisco comedy community.
5:00 – Matt Lieb tells us all about the comedic stylings of famous anti-Semitic French comedian, Dieudonné M’bala M’bala.
11:30 – Bond discussion begins. Matt Lieb reveals The Spy Who Loved Me is his second ever Bond movie. Jane explains to the dudes why Daniel Craig is sexy.
13:15 – Matt Lieb claims women didn’t find him attractive until Adam Driver.
15:10 – We get an update from Ben! Or try to, until we realize his message has been horribly garbled.
29:13 – Matt and I admit to not “getting” Drake (shocking, I know). Jane explains “Hotline Bling.”
34:44 – Bret shows up, and the return of “Matt Lieb Improvises Lyrics To Royalty-Free Songs.”
39:06 – Matt improvises “It’s Your Corporate Birthday,” easily the best song in the history of Matt Lieb singing royalty-free music.
46:45 – We let autocorrect compose texts for us, just to see what kind of personal spam our individual word clouds produce.
50:00 – Autocorrect composes lyrics to royalty-free music.
53:00 – Matt reads The Game’s erotic eggplant Friday fiction. #PunchinThatMonkey
58:00 – Back to The Spy Who Loved Me in earnest.
1:04:00 – We bring Spectre into the mix. Not too spoilery.
1:07:00 – Is Bond creepy or rapey?
1:12:30 – Matt Lieb talks about his brother stealing his food and spitting on his sandwiches. LISTENER ASSIGNMENT FOR NEXT WEEK: Send me your stories of horrible sibling torture. 415 275 0030
1:20:00 – Answering listeners’ relationship questions. (No poop stories this week, shockingly).
1:29:00 – We go deep with Jane Harrison, all about her parents and cocaine, which leads into an earnest discussion of The Male Gaze. (See? Matt leaves and we immediately get serious).

269: Project Greenlight, Ben Carson Campaign Songs, Joe Sinclitico’s Indie Movie

We’re back! This week, we listen to Ben Carson’s campaign songs (country AND rap), go down the Todd Starnes rabbit hole, discuss Project Greenlight and The Leisure Class, and comedian Joe Sinclitico joins to discuss his own experience making independent film. Vince Mancini, comedian Matt Lieb, and co-host Bret are all in studio.

00:00 – We decide Bret looks like either a ’20s stockbroker who’s been in an opium den for weeks or Howard Hughes, which leads us to a discussion of our favorite Scorsese movies.

14:00 – We listen to Ben Carson’s incredible new campaign songs and his beliefs about Joseph building the Egyptian Pyramids. Matt Lieb turns Ben Carson’s campaign song into “Uptown Girl.”

25:00 – We discover Fox News contributor Todd Starnes, aka Mama’s Little Piss Boy. We read excerpts from his books, God Less and ‘They Popped My Hood And Found Gravy On The Dipstick.’ I swear to God that’s a real book (with foreward by Mike Huckabee).

35:40 – Joe Sinclitico joins via Skype. He tells a story about his friend running into Roz from Game of Thrones at Astro Burger.

50:00 – We discuss Project Greenlight and the Project Greenlight movie, The Leisure Class. Whose fault is it that it’s so bad?

1:16:00 – Joe tells us about his experience starring in a micro budget feature in El Paso, and we read your emails. Enjoy!