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We start things off discussing grave matters of national security. Girlfriend-haver Kash Patel testified before Congress and was asked about relaxing hiring standards at the FBI, particularly in regards to applicants’ prior experiences with bestiality. What was this really about? Doing a solid for a college buddy with a “youthful indiscretion” in their past? Covering up Patel’s sheer incompetence? A distraction from an incredibly unpopular war and a looming midterm bloodbath? This is America man, two grandstanding assholes talked past each other and we all got dumber. Thanks for tuning in. (Speaking directly into a goat’s ass) “FBI OPEN UP!!!”
Next up, Ed Sheeran’s tour is Dead, Shearin’ off all of its musical acts after Macklemore had the nerve to sing Thrift Shop say “Free Palestine”. The owners of the venues Sheeran, et al were slated to play decided this was a step too far, which you would have thought was the case when Kanye was singing Heil Hitler in the same venues, but America is truly a land of contrasts. This leads to a robust discussion of a new medical condition we’re calling “I’m reading the news and I feel like I’m having a stroke-itis”.
Next up, we watch Untold Raygun: Breaking Badly, a cautionary tale about the devastating consequences of letting Australians dance. Solid B+.
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